Happy birthday, Salicus!

A very dear friend recently asked me how come I had never left Ghana to do my Master’s abroad like I’d expressed I always wanted. “Well, if I had the money,” I begun, to which my friend interrupted with his usual disapproving tut-tut whenever someone started an explanation like that. Why? His belief is that if something is yours, and you have a strong enough passion, vision and will for it, it will come to you. No matter your current financial situation.

And I agree. (but I sometimes forget 😭)

It ties in to two big lessons I learnt from my darling mum, who would have turned 75 today – Stay positive no matter the situation, and Everything in its time…

The 1st lesson (Stay positive!) is how I managed to persist, accomplish goals, care for my mum, bury her, and continue to accomplish goals in the darkest times.

The 2nd lesson (Everything in its time) is what I’ve found to be the answer to the question my friend asked me. It was definitely not the time for me to leave the country, not while my mum and best friend was gracefully battling an illness that most of the world still does not understand… It may not have been the only reason, but I am so thankful and at peace with the fact that regardless of my desires, I remained in the country and got to be with my mum for the last 8 years of her life afflicted by early onset fronto-temporal dementia.

Instead of focus on the pain (and guilt I’ve wrestled with for the times I was not patient or kind enough), I celebrate my mother’s wisdom and character on her birthday and beyond, reminding myself that staying positive is the way, and affirming that my time is now!

Happy birthday, Sarah Marian Naa Kutorkor Abbey! May your light continue to shine and brighten the lives of the downhearted!

On Being v Doing – Lessons from Mummy

I think the way I have mostly tried to deal with the loss of my mother is to “don’t cry because it’s over, smile because it happened.” Don’t get me wrong, I have cried myself sick a thousand times and more, but for almost every time I have lent myself to anguish, I have tried to promptly steel myself and recall wonderful memories of my beautiful Mummy, helping to inspire me with hope or at least, some light.

Today, as I solemnly commemorate exactly 1 year of her burial, I’m remembering her more for being, rather than for doing things.

There’s most likely a book or 2 out there with the title or chapter or theme of “Being v. Doing,” and I’m pretty sure I’ve heard or read about this idea a few times in this life, but it is through observing my mother in her late years that I really understood it as it resonated on a visceral level…

My mum had been battling a unique type of dementia for at least 8 years, and she became bed-ridden for the last 7 or 8 months of her life and fell terribly ill in the middle. I shall not haunt you with the details. Perhaps, one day, I can talk about it more. One thing I had learnt about the condition (dementia) with time was that many people afflicted would have personality problems, and the reality may actually be that certain aspects of their personalities, particularly negative, became more pronounced or extreme. I heard stories about how some demented patients would be incredibly mean to their hired caregivers and their own well-meaning family members. And so, in the last few years of my mum’s life, I came to deeply appreciate the fact that Mummy stayed the same sweet, kind person she was at her core as much as possible, even when she was bed-ridden and unable to lift a finger without external help.

One memory I can share is how she would do her best to stay still while we dressed her dreadful wounds, and when the pain was too much, she would wince, sometimes, holding back tears, but as you comforted her while trying to finish up the obviously painful process, she would use all strength to calm herself, like an obedient soldier. There was a time when I was applying a plaster and accidentally made a slip which might cause any self-respecting adult to voice out pain, but she flinched, and immediately I reacted in horror and self-flagellation, she rather composed herself and nodded reassuringly to me as if to tell me not to worry so I wouldn’t feel so bad. And our nurses and housekeeper each have similar stories to share…

What a human being! Being considerate of others even if they hurt you and you had the sole opportunity to voice out your discomfort… Being nice when in the most awful pain… Being a source of positivity even when confined to a bed and having lost the use of your whole body… There are many other memories over the years of her being a kind, positive human despite her deteriorating condition.

And that’s the key to being instead of doing. Persistence and consistency. Embodying an ideal by developing the habit of regularly practicing something, in this case, goodness and having a positive outlook. Because you consciously do this so often, it becomes you, even when you’re not conscious of it or… fully there. You become the being you were designed to be.

This is not to say that one is perfect or never expresses weakness… One evening years ago, I walked in on Mummy in the bathroom sitting on the toilet and crying, asking God why this was happening to her. It was heart-breaking, but she did not allow it to break her spirit. The next day, she smiled at our housekeeper and complimented her for the tasty food she’d prepared. She always managed to find the light in a situation.

Once you are able to hold the negative or unpleasant for a while, allowing it to gradually fade in intensity, you can remember that there IS some light, bounce back and continue the game until the final whistle.

So I cry, because we have lost “one of the best humans,” as my ex-boyfriend from uni called her when he learnt of her passing, but I try not to cry too long and to find the smile soon enough, because I was blessed to witness this awesome human being’s life and share an ultimate bond with her.

Long live the kind, loving and gentle spirit of my Mummy, Sarah Marian Naa Kutorkor Abbey! May it guide as many of us alive today as possible and resurrect in more beings to come. 🙏🏾

Tribute to my mum, Sarah Marian Abbey, AKA Salicus, AKA”International Woman”

Today would have been my mum’s 73rd birthday. I wanted to begin a series on her, on some of the many lessons I learnt from her phenomenal self, but I’ve had trouble fixing my broken website, and my administrator has been out of coverage area, so I decided it’s best I repost [on this repurposed blog] the tribute I gave at her funeral last year, which I lost to “the cyberspace” when my website broke. I will continue to write about her whenever I can, because I believe the world would truly be a better place if more people had her kind, adventurous and loving spirit. For now, I share below the tribute I gave to my beautiful mummy…

International Woman! The name Sir Ben gave you… I remember how you laughed when I told you Grandma was telling us you used to travel “like you were drinking water.”

You loved laughing, and that is one of the many things I loved about you. You loved to laugh, and you loved to make others laugh. Just a few days ago, Uncle Kobla and I burst out laughing after I exclaimed “Anaanu mañ Ghana!” one of my favourite of your many humorous expressions. “Anaanu mañ Ghana” translates literally to “Spider man’s country, Ghana,” i.e. “Kweku Ananse’s Ghana,” which feels like the Ghana we are in today, a Ghana I don’t think you would want to stay in.

You loved traveling, obviously… One of the many things again, I’m so grateful and glad you did when you could. Switzerland was like your second home, and from all the way over there, your friends continued to share their love, with Auntie Brigitte’s children visiting us anytime they came to Ghana. After having me, you devoted your entire life to helping make my brothers and I the best possible versions of ourselves. You were my personal cheerleader, and you did the same with my brothers. Nene told us to please remember to add this story – I will read it in his words:

“In 1987 I was in Class 5, I answered a question in class and I got called a messiah, because otherwise Ms. Menya would have lashed the whole class. Mummy called me “Messiah” for years and it made me feel so good many many times, till we won the Brillant Science & Maths Quiz… You can imagine how proud I made her feel and how moved she made me feel.” Yes Nene, thank you for this beautiful memory.

I also remember how you would brag to friends that Monsieur was a chess wiz, and that I was already an expert with the computer Daddy got us. At the time, your touch-typing and Paint skills were much better than that of my 6-year old self, but you made me feel so motivated to embrace this fascinating new technology. I actually can’t remember a time when I told you about something important I wanted to pursue that you didn’t show complete confidence that I could. Even when some friends doubted me when I left my 5-year-old job in 2018 and pursued a very different career path, you seemed to understand it all.

Bro. Maxwell kept reminiscing when he came by how you were at every Children’s Service quiz that Monsieur and I participated in for Trinity, cheering us on and taking your many pictures. You made the word Paparazzi cool to those who knew you. I apologize for all the times I nagged because you wanted to take my picture, and I was “not in the mood.” It is in my adulthood that I have really grasped how your passion for Photography made perfect sense – you were an artist in every fibre of your being. And you loved to keep records and immortalize your loved ones. I was overjoyed to recently find that yellow diary you kept in which you wrote all the interesting things I said and did when I was a year old to 2 years old. “Phototaafa” (photographer) was one of my early words you recorded – surprise, surprise!

You were the English madam who made sure her children could express themselves not just correctly, but also have fun at it. GMTA! You coined this one day as Monsieur or I said the same thing you were thinking or saying at the same time, and from then on, it was one of our cool terms. GMTA! Great Minds Think Alike! Indeed.

Your creativity! It’s another of the things I’m so grateful for, and grateful you shared with me. I have a vivid memory of us making 100s of beautiful paper hand-fans for a relative’s traditional wedding souvenirs when I was about 6 or 7. I remember this feeling of awe I had for you when we finished, and everybody admired our handiwork. It was this same warm feeling I felt inside every Christmas at Mango Mansion, when you’d help me make colourful paper decorations for both school and home. Some weeks before time, you would take me to Bentina to buy the prettiest holiday cards, and you would make sure Grandma, Uncle George, myself and any close family member who came around would write a short message in each card and sign their name with love, then we would go to the post office – you’d allow me to lick the stamps, then Bon voyage, Par avion! The cards would get to our loved ones abroad on time, and they would call and thank us for our beautiful wishes, earning me more sweets when the gifts came down. 😊

I am also awed by how you kept in touch with so many relatives, both home and abroad. You were the one to remember all the birthdays and anniversaries. Which was how I noticed in 2014 the illness had begun – you had started forgetting some important dates… You were so brave and dignified through it all. Christiana remembers sometime in the last few years when she visited and asked how you were doing, you said introspectively, “taking it one day at a time.” Your courage and composure lasted even through the last bed-ridden days – whenever we comforted you through the pain, you would try to nod and hold your tears.

You always wanted to make everyone feel comfortable – I remember how much fun you made cooking a buffet of delicious dishes for family and friends feel. As we cut up the ingredients, you would take out the less-than-perfect ones for blending and keep only the best for garnishing. You were a proud pursuer of excellence. No wonder you loved this insurance brand’s slogan – if it must be done, it must be Donewell!

Hospitality was like second nature to you. I wish I had realised this early enough and not pushed you away when you would come sit with us when my teenage girlfriends and I wanted to gossip about school crushes. And I’m so sorry I didn’t always lend you the patience during the illness that you had lent me as I grew up and made silly mistakes.

A lot of times when I cry, it is not because I have lost my mother – you will always be with me in my heart and in my head – it is because humanity has lost one of the good ones, one of the best.

But I am comforted in a strong conviction that you achieved your purpose, and so, I hold fast to 1^st Cor. 15:55 “Where, O death, is your victory? Where, O death, is your sting?” My mother brought peace where there was tension; she called people to order when there was chaos; she gave a full heart of love where there was deep pain; she brought the family together, and here we are, united today.

Mummy, I told you when I was little “I will be an author when I grow up.” I am certainly on the way. I will write about you, my beautiful Mummy. A true people person! A loving mother, above and beyond. Simply, an outstanding human being!

Rest well, Tweetie-pie. Your legacy will live on!

I work at a dangerous, exciting company

I am enjoying the amazing breeze and the wispy voice of the wind through the leaves of the mango tree less than 5 metres away from one of my windows as I type.
Even though I work at a dangerous, exciting company, I can appreciate the simple pleasures of life in these mountains where nobody knows us.

Khruangbin Radio on Jango is also massaging my spirits.
I wonder why the water from the dispenser today tastes like tap water though… 👀

Ok, so…  Dangerous, exciting company… Is it Oil and Gas? Security? Defence? Shipping?

It might as well be…

It’s a tech company in Ghana, West Africa, but with roots in the United Kingdom. Its flagship product is an app that benefits Oil and Gas, Security, Defence, Shipping, Logistics and other companies, as well as Individuals, and most powerfully, Governments.

After working with the British Police under the Digital and Electronics Forensic Service (DEFS), as well as with Jaguar Land Rover, and the US and British Militaries, Sesinam Dagadu (or Ses) built on his experience developing cutting edge electronic tools, and founded tinyDAVID (where I work).

So the thing is, Ses built this wonderful little app that won the Vodafone Foundation Mobile for Good Grant in 2015, for use by Ghana’s Ambulance Service to locate victims easily and accurately even in situations where there is no internet connection.

The app, SnooCODE, which was customised for the National Ambulance Service as “CodeRed,” has since earned its share of awards and recognition, including the 2014 Africa Content Awards organised by the UN World Summit Awards, a finalist for the
Africa Prize by the Royal Academy of Engineering, and a feature on the BBC in 2016.

All this for good reason, as it is arguably the most resilient and culturally sensitive of the growing number of digital solutions for addressing and locating anything.
It does not need any Internet connection or even SIM card to work, and it does not require the knowledge of any words or vocabulary to be used.
A SnooCODE is a 6- or 7-digit alpha-numeric code, e.g. 3ADU-HCO (SnooCODE for Peduase Hotel in Ghana’s Eastern region). Simple, memorable, efficient.

Now, on to the danger and excitement…
Let me paint a very real picture for you.

Say there’s a disaster like the recent catastrophic cyclone in Mozambique and neighbouring areas, which has displaced 600,000 people… One of the biggest problems in such situations is finding survivors and sending relief or rescue. If stranded citizens have working mobile phones, they can easily use the SnooCODE app to share their location with the Emergency Services, and it will quickly lead the help team to their exact spot.
The app was actually identified by the World Health Organisation’s African Network for Drugs and Diagnostics Innovation (ANDi) in the wake of the 2015 Ebola outbreak as a way to help manage future disasters.

Organisations can basically use SnooCODE and a drone to drop anything – from a bag of rice to a live heart in an ice chest for a transplant – at point XYZ on the globe. In the jungle, or to the 3rd window on the 69th floor.
Exciting, no?!

Let’s bring it even closer to home (you probably believe such crushing natural disasters are not possible in Ghana).
Ask anybody on the street what our biggest problem is, and about 3 out of 5 people will say “Corruption.”
And where would SnooCODE come in here?
You know how certain assets have been reported as never getting delivered to one entity, while the other party maintains it was?
Without giving too much away, I can safely guarantee that SnooCODE has built-in verification capabilities to solve that, referred to by the World Bank as a potential “sister technology to blockchain.” Unlike most of the digital addressing and location solutions around, SnooCODE has been developed a number of steps ahead to combat problems as Goliath-like as Corruption, barring even the common excuse of “the system was down.”

It is precisely because of this that tinyDAVID is a dangerous and exciting place to work. It challenges one inefficiency in the system after another, and I’m sure you know – lots of “big people” do not like that. Even the average Joe/Joan is making a quick buck or managing to not get fired for taking the company car to a meeting at the local pito bar when he/she was supposed to be elsewhere…
The truth of the matter is that most inefficiencies that exist in our part of the world continue to do so because they benefit a few people, particularly the powerful.

Also, can you imagine how a technology like SnooCODE with so much location data might be abused if it got into the wrong hands?

Fortunately, it was built to work offline, in a way that makes it extremely difficult to hack, and unlike other products in the field that collect users’ personal data (like how often they went to the club this month) and sell to third parties, SnooCODE promises a reasonable amount of Privacy, something that makes it ideal for citizens and governments all over the world. (Although some parties that have approached the company would very much want the power to harvest users’ personal data)…

Ultimately, one has to ask themselves: Do I want to be on the side of History that prospers from taking advantage of the system, or do I want to be on the side that faces the dangers and risks of challenging it?
I, for one, am enjoying this breezy, Internet-radio-friendly, dynamic environment, where we are committed to finding tiny solutions to big problems, no matter the threats…

To be continued…

Humans are capable of magic

Yo I don’t know why this is now really hitting me, but,

blogging is our generation’s way to preserve our legacy.

Conventional blogging, like this… (Essay and story writing, for our great grand parents)

Micro blogging, like with Twitter… (Bartlett’s Familiar Quotations 😄)

Photo blogging [phlogging? 🤪], like with Instagram…

Also vlogging! like on YouTube.

But I believe conventional and micro blogging (i.e. our words) give a better sense of who we really are, than photo and video web logging (our “image,” which is more carefully curated).

Blogging is basically us writing down our thoughts.

Many philosophers agree with Carl Sagan (I feel like I need to add something like Honorable, or “His Wisdom” because he was one of the world’s most beautiful minds) that writing may be the world’s most significant profession. Actually, in his exact words:

Writing is perhaps the greatest…

When we write (not ghost write or write copy), especially now with digital technology, we leave pieces of ourselves for generations to come. In the past, you had to be Shakespeare to get published, for great grand generations like us to know about you. Today, you only need the Internet.

When we write, we create something from nothing. Whether we write an alphabet, a word or a sonnet, writing (and drawing) is the first step in visualising or actualizing and preserving our thoughts.

When we write, we transcend our space and our time.

We are capable of magic.

Flying with no plane

Continued from previous post

So it was Easter again, and this year, I was not going to miss out on my dream! I had already learnt how possible it was to have some rewarding experiences outside my comfort zone.

One common-sense but still noteworthy lesson is this: expect the unexpected, welcome spontaneity, but always begin with a plan.
You cannot walk into a party with no connections, no game plan, an empty wallet, and leave it all to chance that enjoyment go kill you. That happens in real life only once in a blue moon.
On the other hand, don’t get OCD planning every step of the trip – leave room for spontaneity; for… mystery.
So, on the rainy morning of Good Friday 2017, armed with ample personal research on what I was going in for, plus our plans to spend little on lodging, enjoy the Paragliding experience, and see a bit of the Kwahu festival, my friends and I set off on our hired bus (we named “The Grasshopper”) for the Eastern Region.

We reached the guesthouse our group organizer had confirmed on the booking site, and lo and behold, the unexpected we should have expected occurred – the surprisingly shabby place had no room for us! After minutes of wrangling over the unfairness of the situation, we asked them to show us somewhere else which might have space, and thankfully, they did. On this day that spontaneity decided to wake up on the right side of the bed, the place 3mins ahead we were pointed towards – Rojo Hotel – turned out to be the best choice in the area. The clean, considerably sized hotel was smack in front of the breathtaking Kwahu mountains, with a view of the Paragliders who were having their turn that day. As should be expected by now though, it was not cheap. But considering our situation, it was nothing to complain about either.

Just like for my weekend trip the month before, I had budgeted GH800 in total (again, hoping to spend not more than GH700), with the knowledge that the place we had booked charged about GH50 a night. But the people at Rojo’s told us the few rooms they had available went for GH250 each, though we could comfortably pair up and share the cost. Oh and also, they were already booked (😒 ), HOWEVER, as at 2pm, the guests had still not made their mandatory 12pm check-in… So we grabbed the opportunity and most likely did to others what had been done to us at the shabby guesthouse (thank you, to those who stole our spot! 😏 )

There was no lingering in our functional rooms at all – the mountains were calling!
We hopped aboard The Grasshopper, braved a 2-hour traffic queue snaking its way up the scenic mountain and finally got a taste of the famous Kwahu ohh Kwahu! 

Sorry to burst bubbles, but the festival was, in my opinion, an incredibly more congested version of the Chale Wote street art festival minus the art & culture, plus scores of unruly attendees (and their SWAT-style strapped-to-the-neck policemen to match) and obscure acts constantly hogging the concert stage. There was, however, some delightful fufu and apɔnkye nkrakra, so yayy!

Now, on to the MAIN DAMN THING!

Have you ever dreamt of flying with nothing but your own body?
If you haven’t, don’t worry – cruise with me.
Imagine lying face down in the backseat, being driven down a highway at a cool 75, on a lovely, breezy day.
Now imagine yourself in the same position, going at the same speed (or accelerating, if you want), but now with no vehicle underneath or around you, your body up in the clouds. I imagine that’s how it would feel to just… fly.
Now, imagine yourself sitting in the car cruising without a care, at maybe 25, then imagine yourself still going – no car now, up hundreds of feet above the ground, with the houses and farms and roads quite visible, not a sound but the wisps of air kissing your ear.
Add an expert pilot behind you and a few strings attached to some large cloth above – THAT is how it felt to paraglide. Safe as being driven to the beat of Beyonçe’s Party.

But first, let’s talk a little about something a little deeper than our fun experience – solidarity.
The morning after we visited the Kwahu festival, we had a filling breakfast and got a ride with the pilots to the paragliding grounds. (We’d returned the night before and met with providence! The pilots’ parachutes were bundled at the front desk of our hotel! THE PILOTS WERE STAYING AT OUR HOTEL!)
So we made the climb up the beautiful mountain (no traffic this time) in their bus, getting to chat a little and prep ourselves for the adventure.
We got to the take-off grounds and met a small crowd. After a few minutes, the name checking and late registration begun. And guess what? We were first on the list.
A few people who missed their turn the day before were already set to go before us though, so we settled down and watched, and freely joined everybody else cheer whomever was about to take off.
And that’s what I mean by solidarity. Everybody knows how daunting the task looks. Everybody knows how fast their heart beats even with the calmest demeanor. Everybody knows that the next person could use a word of encouragement.
The pilots were super nice. The crowd whistled, cheered, applauded…

And one by one, each of us had our turn.
And no matter how awkward or scared or nervous somebody appeared at take off, each and every one braced themselves, jumped off the cliff to applause and soared!

 

Of Beaches, Cocktails & Flying with no plane

Seeking adventure? Willing to be homeless for the weekend? Ready to party from dusk till dawn? Love random conversations with strangers on a beautiful breezy beach over beers or palm wine, about anything from deep thoughts of the cosmos to tickled musings on how Wanlov manages to tread hot, stony, weedy or manure-filled paths with his bare feet? Resilient enough to carry your suitcase-on-wheels from the campsite across the hotel street to the swimmers’ bathroom every time you need to take a bath, so you can keep an eye on your stuff? (You will love this part of the story!) Want to have a “bona fide bucket list experience?”

Happy May Day! You’re employed, you earn a living… even if not, you’re alive, and hopefully healthy. Thank God it’s Monday!

And thank God it’s not too late to have those experiences you dream of, the kind that you just ache to share with your best friends, or grand kids, or fun people at a bougie mixer, or just random ones on the Internet like I’ve been moved to do (but have been feverishly procrastinating) since 4th March 2017, even as I made friends on the bus to Busua beach, Western region, for my 1st taste of Asa baako (which means “one dance”) – Ghana’s “Bush fabulous” (self-described on their website), popular but still quite underground beach music festival and jungle party.
(Here’s a tip: You may not have the time to read this in 1 sitting, but if you leave it open in your browser and remember to go back to it for those dumsor times or long waits in traffic, you’ll enjoy the whole flight!)

Now first, I would just like to state that I am aware of how difficult it is for most people (especially myself) to plan, save and embark on a trip anywhere – even one as seemingly simple as a weekend away from Accra, in the Western Region. But sometimes, a chunk of the difficulty is from a lack of information on the different options available. So by the end of this post, I hope you will realize how possible and fulfilling it is, and be inspired to expand your world, perhaps for the next holiday

Continuing the Convo

I’m not ecstatic with myself.
I have not done half as much as I hoped to do (life!), especially with this blog.
Yet.

One main thing I promised myself was to not be lazy with feedback – to respond honestly to comments as soon as I could.
But alas! 4 months, 4 posts, and I’m now really getting down to it.

Still, better late than never!

I may not yet have a large audience, but to all you cool peeps who read, and give me feedback, whether on here or off, bless y’all!
I really appreciate it.

Not only does it make me confident that I am saying something relevant…

@armahhesse You actually highlighted a part of the story I thought would rather not be the 1st point of focus (since it dwelt a lot on how we aren’t taught such “lessons on survival” in school). Ayekoo! 

It brings attention to how we can be in very different situations, but still share the same or similar sentiments.

@Kofi Thanks for making those of us who may be jealous of your lifestyle think again 😜  

It keeps me on my toes – inspires me to keep at it, and do more…

Charley, I had to Google “cultural appropriation” and read on Wikipedia after that ohh 😅
But I love that you gave me something to learn and write further about! @Bev
Please send me a virtual kick in the butt if I don’t do that soon! 🙆🏾

It opens my eyes to the struggles of other people – some, even very close friends whom I may have never known were going through such difficulties.

@RMCFIsEternal I’m sad you’re having to deal with all this. But I’m glad you’ve consciously planned to have a positive outlook. Stay strong! And maybe, listen to the wisdom in the comment below…

It reinforces my faith in a subject – better yet, a lesson – I keep having to remember from time to time.

😘  Amen!

Aaaaaaand a lil’ ego boosting doesn’t hurt 😉

Thank you all again!

Let’s continue creating thoughtfully, critiquing constructively, thinking rationally, and sharing sharing sharing! 😁

Peace out!

Orientation Day

Somebody is going to die today.
Another will lose their home of 35 years in a flood – or a foreclosure.
One student will walk out in the middle of this class.
And six of you will drop out within 2 weeks.
Good morning, class.
Welcome to the School of Real.

“  ,” I texted my best friend Anne, sitting 3 rows behind me.
“I’m scared. But excited!! And anxious!! All at the same time!!!”
Leave it to Anne to get hysterical and abuse punctuation in the middle of Training Day.
I turned around to look at faces – see if I was the only one freaking out, or maybe I was dreaming…
But no, every single face echoed my thoughts:
if this is just the 1st day of high school, WTF have I gotten myself into?

Madam continued:

In a few years, some of you here will get married. Some will have children. Others will look on in envy. While the married ones stew over the walking-out-the-house-when-we-want times they so terribly miss – “the good ol’ days.”
Some of you will get high paying, high-octane jobs that can own your souls, while some others get on their knees – literally – for their daily bread.
Others still will wander around in their 50s, not quite sure of anything, of their neighbours, of just what to do with themselves…
Most of you, in any case, will use only 6% of what you learned in school in life.
And ALL of you, at one time or the other, will look at yourselves in the mirror and intensely dislike what you see.

But ALL of you, will also have moments – no matter how fleeting – of inexpressible beauty! The taste of water on a parched tongue, maybe after a grueling workout… the first words of a child… your first orgasm… a perfect slam dunk… a prestigious award on an international stage, or a “thank you” from a stranger for an unexpected kindness… overwhelming emotion that moves you to tears… infectious laughter at the dinner table… cooking delicious jollof and sharing with hungry friends…
And these are the times you must try earnestly to appreciate – to fully experience, to treasure, absorb into your bank of memories. The times that can inspire greatness bigger than any one person, times like the moment in a garden under an apple tree as one apple fell in the breeze and changed human understanding of the universe forever…

Now, go out and stretch for a 10-minute break.

How does anybody do it these days?

Hello, Friend.

There is one question on my mind this cloudy Monday morning. One baobab question with many branches…

Tell me, how do you get out of bed every morning, give your soul some chicken soup, and head out into the unknown? How do you step out the door every time, knowing even without reading the news, of yet another act of violence some kilometres away? And if it’s 10,000 kilometres away, knowing your Auntie May, or Cousin Edem, or Daddy dearest is “up” there, striving to send “down” some of the famed milk and honey? And if you’ve got all those you love safe and sound just a drive away from you, knowing Abu and Issah – only a couple of the loan sharks you owe – will be visiting your workplace today? And if you are free from all debt, all student loans, all utility bills, all social security taxes, knowing you can count your bank balance on the fingers of your 2 hands? And if it’s more than your 2 hands, knowing you have to go and face that horrible boss who makes you want to pull a Motherfuckah Jones? And if the boss is rather as benign as The Office’ Michael Scott, knowing you have to sit for 8 hours listening to airhead Ani endlessly talk about who is going to fund her next weave? And if all of work is sugar n spice n everything nice, knowing you have to go back home to face four walls and talk about your day to fluffy four-legged Koko, because you’re either alone, or there’s nobody who’ll understand? And if there’s actually someone who’ll understand, you can’t begin to express all the feelings, can’t unload all the weight, because you fought bitterly with her this morning over the lumpy porridge she made for you?
I’m genuinely curious. Take a minute to let me know.

P.S. I hate to sound cheesy, but first, just breathe. And realize – If You’re Reading this, You’re Alive, And It’s Not Too Late.

Peace,

Zara.